This is Kenichi Ito, a man who's spent the last eight and a half years of his life walking around his Tokyo suburb like a monkey. Now I'm no chiropractic psychic, but I do see some serious back pain in Kenichi's future. Why's he do it? Maybe this will shed some depressing light on the subject:
"You know my face and body kind of looks like a monkey, so from a young age everyone used to tease me, saying 'monkey, monkey.' But I wasn't really bothered because I really liked them, and somewhere inside of me I had this ambition to adopt one of their traits," Ito told the International Business Times.
Come on, Kenichi -- do you know what the kids used to call me growing up? Booger Boy. But do you see me still picking my nose and eating it? "...You just did." Okay sure, but that was a good one. "A must pick?" You disgust me.
Hit the jump for a short news segment about Ito, who made the Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest man on all fours.
Thanks to daniel, who's the fastest man on a pegleg and wins the Pirate Olympics every year.