Man Walks On All Fours Like A Monkey For Eight Years

April 26, 2012


This is Kenichi Ito, a man who's spent the last eight and a half years of his life walking around his Tokyo suburb like a monkey. Now I'm no chiropractic psychic, but I do see some serious back pain in Kenichi's future. Why's he do it? Maybe this will shed some depressing light on the subject:

"You know my face and body kind of looks like a monkey, so from a young age everyone used to tease me, saying 'monkey, monkey.' But I wasn't really bothered because I really liked them, and somewhere inside of me I had this ambition to adopt one of their traits," Ito told the International Business Times.

Come on, Kenichi -- do you know what the kids used to call me growing up? Booger Boy. But do you see me still picking my nose and eating it? "...You just did." Okay sure, but that was a good one. "A must pick?" You disgust me.

Hit the jump for a short news segment about Ito, who made the Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest man on all fours.

Thanks to daniel, who's the fastest man on a pegleg and wins the Pirate Olympics every year.

  • Evolution: U r doin' it wrong!

  • thecomicfan

    ... Great... lets go against nature and human progress, lets get back to walking on all fours

  • $18922249

    Fucking humans. 

    Between this guy and trust-a-farians, go fuck yourselves.

    (everyone else, have a nice day)

  • AtomicMug

    What a dumbass.

  • Tarl Cabot

    Wait didn't we spend a few millennia evolving so we DIDN'T walk on all fours? I'm pretty sure I even saw a chart with pictures of how we evolved.. why they hell would we want to regress??

  • Guest

    no longer need to see predators coming over tall grass, don't plan on carrying things that don't sit in your pockets while you walk and most importantly wanting to show off dat ass?

  • Mighty Molecule

    the extent of spinal radiculopathy alone would have crippled him if this were genuine. it's bullshit.

  • I would say bullshit too but . . . it's from Japan. Anything is possible there. 

    Side note: I love this story because my life looks AWESOME!!! by comparison. 

  • Suarga

    That is a serious workout if you guys have never tried it.

  • "my face and body kind of looks like a monkey"  o.O
    Makes sense to me...

  • Love the Philly D monkey poster.

  • Guyllaume Maheu

    This guy gonna have serious back issues.

  • lunulaoblongata

    This story was MADE for Karl Pilkington. I can just hear Ricky telling him he's full of shit.

  • sointex

    YES. YES. YES. This is the best story I've read in a long time. Faith in humanity RESTORED!

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post