Australian Billionaire Building Modern Replica Of Titanic

April 30, 2012


Because what good is being filthy rich if you can't spend it building a giant ship that's gonna wind up at the bottom of the Atlantic, Australian mining billionaire Clive Palmer plans on having a modern, luxurious replica of the ship built in China and not my backyard despite me being the lowest bidder. Dammit Clive, I'll do it for beer and that's my final offer.

Palmer, one of the richest people in Australia with an estimated worth of more than $5 billion, said he had commissioned a state-owned Chinese company to construct Titanic II with the exact dimensions as the ill-fated original.

"It will be every bit as luxurious as the original Titanic but of course it will have state-of-the-art 21st century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems," Palmer said, according to AFP.

He said Titanic II would make its maiden voyage from England to New York in late 2016.

"Titanic II will be the ultimate in comfort and luxury with on-board gymnasiums and swimming pools, libraries, high class restaurants and luxury cabins," Palmer said.

Man, how crazy would it be if this one sunk too? I mean, curses ARE real, you know. "No, they're not." No? Then you won't mind giving me a lock of your hair and some blood so I can make a voodoo doll of you? "Don't you need a piece of clothing too?" I already have a pair of your panties. "I don't wear panties." *whips out thong* Then whose are THESE? "The tag says Geekologie Writer." Haha, I thought they looked familiar.

Thanks to Bradley, Eric B., Daniel C. and Silvermidnight, all of which expressed an interest in standing on the bow with their arms spread like they're flying. OMG -- same (but only at dock).

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