Ancient Female Gladiator Sculpture Found (She's Topless!)

April 18, 2012


According to experts, if confirmed, this will be only the second depiction of a female Roman gladiator ever found, but even more impressive than the first considering this one killed whatever the hell she did with only one a single hand and leg. I wouldn't f*** with her if I were you.

The gladiator statue shows a topless woman, wearing only a loincloth and a bandage around her left knee. Her hair is long, although neat, and in the air she raises what the researcher, Alfonso Manas of the University of Granada, believes is a sica, a short curved sword used by gladiators. The gesture she gives is a "salute to the people, to the crowd," Manas said, an action done by victorious gladiators at the end of a fight.

The female fighter is looking down at the ground, presumably at her fallen opponent.

Listen: I'm all for imagining badass female gladiators killing shit with their titties flailing around, but I'm pretty sure that's just a guy with nice hair and moobs. "And no bulge in his loincloth?" Hell no -- you gotta tuck your meat when you're fighting lions!

Rare Ancient Statue Depicts Topless Female Gladiator [livescience]

Thanks to FloorMatt, who fights lions the old fashioned way: luring them to the edge of a cliff and then jumping out of the way real quick when they lunge. -- I can't believe you can even jump with the size balls you must be toting.

  • She is holding a minotaur horn, clearly

  • fjordprefect

    How do they know this was a gladiator? She's wearing a loincloth and has a bandage. So did Jesus, was he a gladiator too? Since he lived under Roman rule I suppose he could have been. But that "sica" looks suspiciously like a gourd or an eggplant guess is she's cooking dinner for her husband and she's topless because  he likes watching her cook naked. That's my masculist interpretation, anyway. It could happen, my wife cooks for me naked all the time.

  • lucci

    also, legless.

  • n_a_a_s

    Everybody has this wrong...

    Clearly this was the first man ever to yank off his peener & show everyone in the village square it could be done, and so then the 'double dog dare' was born....  Fortunately for history - medusa was amongst the curious villagers, and according to reports she was amazed

  • Azariel_z

    Topless warrior  2000 years ago, none gave a f*ck..
    Discovered recently and globally famous...

    "Totally worth it"   Pose.

  • 2,000 years later, we're only slightly more civilized. We may not fight to the death for entertainment any more, but the rest of it is just as barbaric. We need JESUS.

  • Azariel_z

    for what? he failed once...  what could he do now with a world population of 6 Billions...  he couldn't even save himself , and to resurrect took 3 whole days, was the "Lord's Hub" too full  he couldn't respawn at once? 

  • Love_23

    @Azariel_z:disqus dont you actually read the Bible so you actually know what your talking about because by this statement you are obviously clueless on all that Jesus has done for you...he died for YOU and you just sit in the comfort of where ever you are and mock Him...He actually Loves YOU and thats more than i can say for anyone who you think "loves" please Mr. Azariel_z, show some desency and instead of making fun of someone for doing somethink all together wonderful in thoughht of everyone including you, why dont you thank Him or if you dont have the respect and courtasy to thank Him, say nothing at all.....sorry i had to go all Jesus Lover on this page but i just dont like it when someone makes fun of something that they dont even know the meaning of.

    oh and by the way, Jesus took 3 days because He went down into Hell to preach to those who were there who did not have the chances of forgivness that we do now (which we now have because Jesus died for us) (first of all He came down to Earth for us and to see how hard it was to live on Earth and He came and saw this and He had mercy on us and died in our place(figuratively speaking) so that we may have another chance to live right) BASICALLY Jesus Loves us and thats why He died for us so please do not mock Him. :)

  • Azariel_z

    Is better you write a letter to Sky daddy , explain what the issues are , and try to teach him better project management. For an omniscient being, who can foresee an/or change present / future, he does a pretty bad job.
    and BASICALLY know the Bible is just a collection of Allegorical Stories, is not history, you shouldn't take it seriously...

  • thatcando

    if the person next to jesus is a dude* - then this is a manly man. no doubt!
    *seen at the last supper...

  • Girgear

    That's not a 'sica'... some poor gladiator got his manhood yanked off.

  • I also thought maybe the "moobs" angle because the statue lacks the curves of a woman.  although I guess is could be a young virgin girl that got sacraficed to a volcano or something.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    You had me at "topless"...

    ...and she's an amputee? JACKPOT!!!
    (Russell Brand would love this!)

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