Wow, First Base Never Looked So Sad: Kissenger, The Robotic Long-Distance Kiss Messenger

February 1, 2012


Nope, nothing creepy as hell going on here.

The Kissenger is a small, Skype compatible robotic pig that can sense a user's kiss and send the sensation to another user who's ALSO holding a f***ing pig-shaped robot to their lips. God, if this is the future I am like, soooooooooo over it. *emptying potion of immortality into toilet* "That was a juice-box." IT WAS SYMBOLIC.

"The lips are highly touch-sensitive, but can also be manipulated by motors inside the robot."

The robots are equipped with soft silicon pads that transmit lip movements between partners.

The Lovotics website suggests the Kissenger may appeal to singles and those who want to smooch a virtual character. The robots can use artificial intelligence (AI) to transmit those kinds of kisses, too.

Admittedly, I would call all my friends and put my wiener up to it. "Whoa bro -- you sure you want your junk that close to an active robot?" Good point -- I knew there was a reason I kept you around! Now, I want you to call my friend Randy and lay your penis on the receiver.

Hit the jump for a video demo of the sadness.

Would you kiss someone via robot messenger? [cbcnews]

Thanks to Chris, who doesn't understand why they made the thing look like a pig. Maybe it's not, Chris, maybe it's just somebody's reaaaaaaaaally ugly girlfriend.

  • DreamPhreak

    Ugh, its like making out with a pig.

  • This is about retarded...

  • Anyone who thinks this isn't ending up in the porn industry is retarded.

  • What? No tongue?

  • i see this and it reminds me of Big Bang Theroy

  • Crucial


  • Ana

    but that was waaaayyy better! 
    I mean c'mon, they even used their tongues!

  • I can imagine it now:
    "Hey honey! Look what I just found on the internet! Finally we can bridge the gap in our long distance relationship!"
    "... I think we should start seeing other people."

    Still, if this doesn't cross the line for you, then you're destined to be together! (and also please don't have kids)

  • painweaver

    sync one of these bad-boys up with a fleshlight, and then we'll talk business

  •  Damn, you beat me to it! :P

  • MorningPanda

    I was going to leave the same comment, almost word for word.

  • weaselmouse

    I was going to add that I'm disappointed it doesn't have a hole you can throw your tongue down. Or penis. What's the point.

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