Fugly: What Humans Will Look Like In 50-Million Years

February 1, 2012


Humans still alive in 50-million years, LOL.

Conceptualized by speculative zoologist Dougal Dixon in the early 80's and published in Omni magazine, these are renderings of what Dixon believes humans might look like after 50-million years of evolution. There's an another version after the jump that's all brain and penis (not if we're evolving from your genes!) along with the article that accompanied the pictures. Me? I bet in 50-million years we all look like ash. But who knows, maybe we really will be ugly as shit, half-mushrooms with our organs on the outside, blowing methane bubbles out of our elephant trunk buttholes. I don't care. *files under 'NOT MY F***ING PROBLEM'*

Hit the jump for the article, which is kinda worth a read if only to stimulate what little grey matter you have left.





Is this a portrait of a human 50 million years from now? [io9]

Thanks to Zach, who wrote me like three paragraphs expanding on the idea that humans are actually devolving but I stopped reading halfway through when I realized there wasn't gonna be a compliment about me at the end.

  • queen.fuckry

    I wonder what the definition of sexy will be in this theory of human evolution.

  • queen.fuckry


  • Kamran Goudarzi

    Evolution occurs out of necessity, and its my belief that we're reaching a point where, like the croc, we dont really need to change much in order to survive any more. People can argue that evolution for us has become dependant on society, but even to this, peoples tastes change, whats hot one year may not be the next. Also, just cause you want a hot wife, doesnt mean thats who your having kids with. we arent really stuck in a single location either, so theres no real need for us to adapat to a certain environment, so really, I think we'll eventually become one "race". As far as our brains expanding; brains require a ton of energy, so unless it were a life or death situation, so long as your smart enough to insert point a into slot b and repeat as necessary, your gold. Also, medicine isnt really gonna destroy us either. Yeah, its resulting in "super" streins of bacteria and viruses, and it prevents the "weak" from dieing...but truthfully, if anything, that promotes our species survivability. Evolution doesnt really lead to extinction so much as over specialization. By keeping pretty much everyone alive, your ensuring a genetic pool diverse enough to handle anything crazy that may come our way. I think the main "evolution" we're experiencing from here on out is going to be one of social change, in which how we interact with eachother and the world around us will change until an optimal form is found....but physiologically, i just dont see much life/death stuff out there anymore to really force us to change.....perhaps we as a species have stumbled upon a pretty good design? I'd get into cosmetic surgery and technological implantations, but I have a tattoo to do so....ciao

  • PS: And future brainoidude looks more like The Rock to me...

  • 50 million years from now, robots will find this effing hilarious.

    Oh wait —they won't.

  • natll

    i see lots of changes in fashion world. it's sad people won't be able to wear hats as we know them.

  • The only thing interesting about this article is trying to figure out whether the scientist is messing with us, or is actually that crazy.  The point where he assumes lack of intelligence is all that is stopping people from using telekinesis and psychic communication was enough to realize it's one of the two.

  • where can I buy his drugs?

  • artilleryboy

    I think we would all rather die than end up like that

  • Lannen O'Rouke

    But...this is how I look now.....

  • Stijn Roelants

    Basket case anyone?

  • Stijn Roelants

    basket case any1?

  • TJ Haney

    *People trying to argue against a theory that is based on speculation over a time span of 50-million years*  Come on.  We were speculating hoverboards, barrel-shaped robots with tube arms, and flying chrome cars with dramatically sharp edges less than 60 years ago, for today.  All of which I have none and am very angry about.  I probably won't even get a giant elephant weenie/anus, either.

  • Ryan Kelly

    a brain person residing in a robotic body structure? we'd all be like krang

  • I've got the After Man book by this guy - mentioned in the article. It's full of wonderfully weird stuff. All nonsense of course.

  • najey rifai

    what book is this from?

  • I weep for the future, because, the way its going now, the worlds gonna look more like Idiocracy than what people are hoping it'll be like

  • raditzzzz

    so... nobody gonna comment on how mankind simply acquires psychokinesis?  not even the scientists that refute this guy in the article?

  • No matter what, none of us will be here to see it.

  • n_a_a_s

    Not true Patrick, there's a small chance the immortality pill could hit the market in the next 20 years.  For all we know, that might not be Rob Schneider at all & it could actually be YOU

  • Kala Krasia


    Just freakin' NO! I'll get a kitchen knife and I will die of bleeding. And I'll not allow freakin' science to touch my honorable corpse.

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