You know what your life's been missing? "Meaning." Guess again. "Direction?" Both very true, but I was looking for something a little less depressing. "A Batman Mr. Potato Head?" DINGDINGDINGDING! You f***ing NEED one of these guys. Available for $18 preorder, the Dark Tuber is expected to arrive in June, just in time to...I dunno -- fight childhood obesity? Hide weapons in his ass? Man, I've had to hide weapons in my ass before. Drugs too. I was somebody's bitch. I have to laugh about it now because if I didn't OH GOD HERE COME THE TEARS.
Thanks to tamara and Mark, who're convinced Mr. Potato Head sets a bad role model for children because he's chubby. Interesting, but I don't remember anybody wanting to be Mr. Potato Head when they grew up.