Another Day, Another Stupid Japanese Face Exerciser

February 3, 2012


This is the Japanese Face Slimmer, a $50 (FIFTY DOLLARS?!??!!1) piece of plastic you jam in your mouth to look like a lovedoll. You're supposed to wear it while reciting the vowel sounds of the alphabet three times a minute, twice a day. And that...that's supposed to make your face slimmer. Granted it won't work, but none of these things do. You want to slim down your face? Here's what you do: choke yourself while your food's digesting so none of fat can travel up to your face. Simple! "I'm sorry, GW, but I'm pretty sure this is some sort of sex toy." It might be, the product site's in Japanese!

Product Site
Get Perfect Duck Lips With The Face Slimmer [incrediblethings]

Thanks to bb, who's convinced laughing is the best face exercise. Really? I heard it was standing in front of a fan so you sound like Darth Vader.

  • Justin G Hill

    yeah i'm gonna have to go with "no teeth blowjob device"

  • Dy7lan (the seven is silent)

    So it's a blowjob trainer?

  • This_Update_Sucks

    Put it in my b-hole and you can LITERALY kiss my ass.

  •  you mean your ass can kiss my face.. 

  • Looks like they cut off the lips from an inflatable sex doll.

  • monkeyspinach

    looks like a costume piece for those old racist cartoons of black people

  • SHEXY!

  • ScottNobles

    Ooooh dude, oh dude... oh dude, so buying one of these... Not using it on my face though.

  • Green Silver

    If you look closely at the photos, you can see he brain through her mouth. Kinda grey! This is the Chinese version of blond. 

  • Leo

    turn your face into a fleshlight!

  • Guest

    lisa rinna ?

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