Stephen Hawking Seeks New Graduate Assistant

January 4, 2012


Seen here believing he can fly, famed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking is seeking a new graduate assistant and, obviously, I'm the man-child for the job. "ZIP ZAP, NOT THE STAIRS GW!" Oh relaaaaaaax Steve, I'll just tilt your chair back and we'll bounce right down.

The original purpose of this position was 'to aid Professor Hawking in those areas which he has difficulty due to his disability'. The job has since expanded and now includes:
  • Managing Professor Hawking's national and international travel.
  • Preparation of lecture graphics and public speaking
  • Dealing with the media and press
  • Development of Professor Hawking's computer systems
  • Maintenance of computer and medical equipment
  • Answering inquiries from the public and maintaining the website
  • Departmental and administrative roles

Not gonna lie, that sounds like a lot more responsibility and a lot less fun that I had anticipated. How much to just carry him around on my back like Yoda?

Official Job Posting

Thanks to Alex T, who claims he's already got the job in the bag. Let me see that. HA! These are groceries, Alex.

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