Maybe Skyrim In Real Life Isn't So Cool After All

January 11, 2012


Seen here about to fail hard, 37-year old "warrior" David Millington prepares to wage battle on an enemy he's held a grudge against for 30 years. Wait -- since you were seven?! Jesus, he wiped a booger on your arm, bro -- let it go.

This is the astonishing moment a crazed attacker stormed into a supermarket armed with an arsenal of knives including a hockey stick with a blade on the end as oblivious punters carried on their shopping.

Described as looking like a 'warrior', Wolverhampton Crown Court heard how David Millington, 37, went into Morrisons in a suburb of Wolverhampton last March wearing a tool belt containing five kitchen knives and a makeshift shield.

Millington then chased security guard Andrew Osbourne, who he lived close to as a youngster and reportedly has a 30-year grudge against, through the store before being tackled to the ground by brave manager Michael Walsh.

First of all, that's not a shield. Not even a MAKESHIFT one. That's a piece of foamboard with a belt taped to it. Secondly, I can't believe his mom let him leave the house with her good knives. Lastly, Millington was ruled unfit to stand trail and ordered to be treated in a mental hospital because he's a little cray-cray. Gee, you think? He had 30 years to plot revenge and this was his plan A.

Moment crazed 'warrior' enters supermarket armed with five kitchen knives, improvised axe and makeshift shield [dailymail]

Thanks to Seb, who agrees in 30 years you could have at least ordered something from ACME.

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