Vests Are So Not In Right Now: Bulletproof Polos

January 23, 2012


Look out your kitchen window. Your patio furniture is all wrecked to shit, isn't it? I know, that last BBQ of yours got out of hand. Shots were fired. Enter the $3,500 bulletproof polo from Miguel Caballero's Black Label Collection, just the thing you need to protect your neck* while flippin' burgs or refilling the beer cooler. It may look like a regular-ass polo, but oh no -- underneath that 100% cotton exterior comes three different levels of bullet protection. Me? I want the one that can stop a cannonball.

OPTION IIA: 9mm / 40 Smith and Wesson FMJ

OPTION II: 9mm / .357 Magnum / 38 Super / Mini Uzi submachine gun
OPTION IIIA: Uzi machine gun / MP5,MP9 submachine gun / 44 Magnum SJHP / Stab-proof

Haha -- there's even a stab-proof option! Unfortunately, all of them will only stop bullets from the most amateur of assassins. I've played Counter-Strike folks, I only aim for the head. "No you don't." Okay so maybe I flashbanged my whole team and got us all killed.

*Protection actually starts below the neck.

Product Site
Polo Shirt Will Also Stop Bullets [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Jess, who's holding out for a bulletproof dress.

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