We're Breaking Up: 'Find His P0rn', A P0rn Finding App

December 2, 2011


'Find His P0rn' is a website you can visit on your boyfriend/husband/roommate/son's computer that will, wait for it -- FIND HIS P0RN. That way you can confront him about whatever disturbing fetish videos you found and have the awkwardest conversation of your sure-to-be-short-lived relationship. I can see it now:

Girlfriend: I found your p0rn stash, Michael! You must really like cheerleaders, huh?
Boyfriend: You were snooping around on my computer?
Girlfriend: No, I paid $20 for an app to do it for me!
Boyfriend: I hope you get a lifetime subscription, because we're through.
Girlfriend: That's not what this is about!
Boyfriend: *downloading Chesty Cheerleader Tryouts 4*

Official Site

Thanks to Carrie, who claims her man doesn't have time to watch p0rn because she's a nympho. Literally -- she said that!

  • i was thinking of dating a girl with a sister at a similar age. then
    save pictures of her on my computer. then leave this page open so she
    installs the program and sees pics of her sister that i photoshoped onto actual P0RN and see what does.

  • Jason Storey

    Nerd five for everyone who has theirs in a hidden encrypted archive :D

  • Slurm_Cola

    "And you ran some random shady software on my computer? You may as well have gone out and banged some shady dude without protection! There's like four copies of it on the desktop and god knows how many viruses on my computer now!"

  • thats it .. no more porn .... i'm just going to go cheat on my girlfriend .. and have sex.. its safer and more discrete i think .. yep .SEE ?!! SEE WHAT YOU DID !>!>! NOW I YOU MADE ME CHEAT ON YOU ! 

  • That's just stupid. If you want to find porn on somebody's computer paying for some app to do it for you is mental.
    If they used it on my computer the app would probably melt.

  • Girlfriend: I found your p0rn stash, Michael! You must really like cheerleaders, huh?
    Boyfriend: You were snooping around on my computer?
    Girlfriend: No, I paid $20 for an app to do it for me!
    Boyfriend: Wow really? You are THAT stupid? Wow...sorry but I'm breaking up with you!
    Girlfriend: Wait what?! No. I'm the one breaking up with yo-
    Boyfriend: I'm sorry but if my girlfriend is so stupid that she has to pay for something like this...I mean...have you no brains? You could have found my stash way faster ! What kind of moron are you that you have to pay someone to find something on someone's computer?! Do you like, not know how to use a computer?! Don't you know how to use the "search" feature? And even if you can't find stuff on your own...are you so stupid that you can't find freeware to do it for you?! You know freeware is free right? That's why it's called FREEware! You stupid whore! Wasting $20 like that! Being this stupid is worse than DLing porn!
    Girlfriend: No! I'm-
    Boyfriend: I'm sorry, but I can't date someone this stupid! We're through! Get your shit out of my house you idiot! Here, I'll open the door for you, just in case you don't know how. Don't worry, I won't charge you $20 bucks for it! Now get the fuck out you stupid bitch! *Starts downloading more porn*

  • Iamdoctor

    Wow, that's amazing!

    So you just run this app that goes through all the files on your computer, all of them, while it tells you that it's checking for porn? What doesn't this app do!!!?!!!?!?!!?????!!!?!?!?!?!!

    N0, literally. Really. What doesn't this app do? And what does it do?

    I mean, is it sort of kind of like you know, Spybot? Except the exact fucking opposite? No? Just checking for porn? Allright then, go for it. Just gimme a call when my personal files turn up on the HD of the creepy guy running malware inc from his garage, and I'll give you a call if my registry implodes in the mean time. Deal?

    Oh, wait, sorry, I spoke too soon. According to the info on the website, all of that does in fact not happen, it does not happen at all. Sorry, creepy guy in garage, didn't mean to badmouth you. My bad.

  • Save this $20 ($49.99) and just ask.  Ill show you.

  • If you pay $20 to have an unknown website filter through my stuff with impunity,  then we are going to break up no matter what it finds.

  • DreamPhreak

    I'm gonna go build my own Find Her P0RN website, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the website!

  • My girlfriend is well aware of the fact that I have some porn stored on my PC.

    If she loves you enough, she won't give two shits about it. If she smacks you and screams at you about it, she isn't worth your time. Totally my opinion though.

    I'm willing to bet some people legitimately use this site though for its intended purpose... some people are just paranoid.

  • Considering My GF knows I worked at a very Busy Adult bookstore off of a major highway, And the fact she is pretty much as freaky as I am, Theres not much to worry about ;)

  • Awesome! Now I can compare his stash to mine!

  • Julio Juarez

    For every Find His Porn there must be a Hide My Porn.

  • i love you

  • Leanna Breauxni

    I had an ex who did this once. He snooped around on my computer until he found my porn, then acted like it was my fault that I watched porn in the first place.
    I didn't have the proper reaction, which is that anyone who trusts you so little that they would invade your privacy by raiding your computer, isn't someone you should be dating in the first place.

    I hope any dudes who have this done to them throw that bitch out on the street. Your sexuality is something you choose to share with your loved one, and being put on the spot for whatever fetishes you have that they don't is both unfair and incredibly bitchy.
    As long as you aren't hurting anyone, who cares?
    Ohh, that's right. Bitches. Bitches care.

    *insert eye roll and slow-jerk*

  • miezeljotschek

    You are so right! There is nothing I could add.
    This program is so disgusting.

  • Sarah B

    I think watching porn is only a problem for your partner if: 

    1. It becomes obsessive - he/she rather watch porn all the time than actually have sex with you. 
    2. Fetishes you don't share - if he likes whips and chains, and you're into butterflies, chances are you aren't sexually compatible. 
    3. He/she compares you to what they saw in a porno - no one is perfect, but if your partner constantly stops you in the middle of sex to suggest that you do it 'more like tanya from busty whores 3", chances are he's not happy with your relationship. 

  • Stephen Dias

    He probably is only watching it because he knows he is not getting any that day.
    He should use porn for fetishes you dont share just because you don't humor him in it
    If he is actually capable of doing what they perform in porn, more power to you guys

  • Joshua Maffe

    thats pretty much what my girlfriends rules are lol

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