Gubment Wants All States To Adopt Phone Driving Ban

December 14, 2011


Because the government doesn't want you to run me over on my walk to the bar, the National Transportation Safety Board is encouraging all states to adopt stricter bans on the use of cell phones while driving. And while they're at it they should do something about the guy I saw drive by the other day with his foot on the dash CUTTING HIS F***ING TOENAILS. I say arrest that man!

So far 30 of the 50 states have some kind of ban in place, but the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) is worried that a patchwork of rules for each state is too confusing, so they have introduced their own recommendations.

They say states should ban all handheld portable electronics, except those involved directly with operating the car such as GPS units. Cellphones used with hands-free devices would still be allowed, as would calls made to report emergencies.

Pfft, what call ISN'T an emergency for the person making it? OMG Derek listen -- the guy in the car next to me is masturbating. That or peeling potatoes. Either way I'm gonna try to take a picture as soon as I get off the phone with you. Wanna watch me play some Skyrim when I get home? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SOLD MY PLAYSTATION TO BUY A MAIL ORDER BRIDE?! Well can we share her? Because if you use that money that technically makes her half mine.

Feds want all states to ban cellphone use while driving [dvice]

Thanks to Chris and rallaz, who don't text and drive because they know if I catch them I'll get in front and then slam on the brakes.

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