Stiff Japanese Underwear Help Burn Calories

November 14, 2011


Crusty drawls, yo.

$32 Calorie Shapers are resin-coated biker-shorts/sparkle-panties that are stiffer than regular boxer-briefs and, when walked in 1.5-hours a day per week, can burn enough additional calories to offset 16-ounces of beer. WELL WOOPTIE-F***IN'-DO-DA. I'd rather just convince myself I never drank that beer. Besides, who in their right mind wants to walk around IN A PAIR OF HARD UNDERWEAR? Aaaaaaaah, my nuts are saying silk but my belly's saying STIFF ABRASIVE POLYMER AND ENOUGH FRICTION TO START A FIRE. "Just go commando and I'll swing the calories away." Smart thinking, penis.

Hit the jump for the WTF commercial.

Special Japanese Underwear Aids in Burning Extra Calories [weirdasianews]

Thanks to Marconet, who just wears leg-weights like a normal person. Um, Marconet? Regular people don't wear leg-weights, bro.

  • Wow, the only calories this thing will burn is when you're going back to the store to return it. I'm not sure what type of 16 oz beer they used for that test but that would still be less than a hundred calories, which is kind of bad for 2 hours of wear.

  • Everybody!!!!!!! Caaaalorie Shaaaaaper!!! Dew dew doo, doo doo da doo.....

  • How long until there are vending machines that offer these for sale?

  • David Gabel

    once the women have worn them for a little while.

  • wow!.... i just watched that "commercial" (hypnotic eye-sore) while i also happened to be listening to Ronald Jenkees... the two songs combined actually made an awesome song as one.  

    and yes  the guy in the vid has HUGE head... almost as if he has his siamese twin brother's head within his own.  why do skinny Japanese people need hard underwear to lose weight?

  • Dani. Doomzday

    how come you don't mention free energy for everybody Thrive movie in here?

  • It burns when I pee

  • I'd burn more calories on a black background...

  • Ry Keener

    The lighting kinda gives the guy a Hitler mustache shadow.

  • Carlos Albarran

    I want to date the girl in the second row. Great body!

  • I could not stop staring at the women's crotches.... they all had bulges. o_O

  • StylishWalnut

    Horatio Sanz has had a lot of trouble finding work since he slimmed down.

  • its cause his underwear is too tight 

  • Dan Tuxford

    That guy at the front has an unusually large head....

  • my underwear naturally burns calories

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