Satanic Internet Hookup Gone Wrong (Or Right?!)

November 10, 2011


Guys: they're always trying to hookup with the ladies. Me? I don't have to try, I get enough. "Heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeee." UGH. Really, hand -- in front of all my friends?! One more outburst like that and I'm gonna touch the oven. Enter a sad and lonely 19-year old Arizonian who met a girl online, then took a bus to Milwaukee to partake in a satanic threesome. It...ended poorly. Dude's still alive though, so we can all have a laugh. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WTF were you thinking?! "I wasn't, my penis was." I know, that was meant to be rhetorical. Rebecca Chandler (left) and Raven "Scarlett" Larrabee (right), the Milwaukee roommates who were arrested last week for allegedly binding our Arizonan friend (whom Chandler had met online) and stabbing and slashing him "in excess of 300" times. According to Chandler, the sex and stabbing were both consensual, but "got out of hand" (at least, the stabbing did).

Chandler also says that Larrabee did "the majority of" the cutting, and that Larrabee was "involved in satanic or occult activities"; in their apartment, the cops found a bunch of books that sounds like they were purchased at the local Hot Topic, including The Necromantic Ritual Book and The Werewolf's Guide to Life (not to mention "[p]aperwork... described by police as the '7 Pentacles' of planets).

WOW. Did you even ask to see pictures before Greyhounding your ass to Wisconsin? Because if you did and they sent something similar to these AND YOU STILL WENT, well, you deserved everything that happened and shouldn't be allowed to press charges. Just look at those faces, bro -- of course they're gonna f***ing stab you!

Satanic Sex Ritual Threesome Not as Awesome as It Sounds [gawker]

Thanks to SaraDevil, who...wait a minute -- please tell me you're not into this sort of thing.

  • The Chadwick

    I thought the one on the right was the dude, damn.  The chick on the left looks like she is possessed. What the fuck happens in a persons life to make them do this, I truly am curious.  Girls who are upset at their father usually end up sleeping with fucking 80 year olds (which to be honest is great for the old guy, but a girl wants to deal with old balls because she is upset at daddy!?  Sucks for her).  I wonder how fucked up your life has been to live your life like these girls do.  "Awe society hates me, nobody understand me", so suck it up, your not the only one, deal with it, and move on.

    Its funny, these are the bitches that would have been burned or hung 1000 years ago for witchcraft.

  • scruball

    I can't believe those aren't transvestites.

  • Kenneth Mabine

    I couldn't say it better Patrick Caldwell.  First? Oh wait, nvm....

  • i am not sure whats going on here... So, these two dudes killed a chick?

  • Brandon

    She's a Satanist, her name is Raven and she has the alias "Scarlett"? WTF?!

  • Ericah Villiesse

    only in Milwaukee....oonnllyy in Milwaukee. 

  • Sammy Bridges

    Still counts bro! *fistbump*

  • rebecca is johnny depp

  • Guest

    yo that macaulay culkin looking chick on the left is kinda hot bro

  • Slurm_Cola

    the circumstances are irrelevant. engaged in coitus. 

  • John Gomez

    doesn't matter had sex...

  • Um.  Rebecca looks like a boy.  Raven looks...alive?

  • SlowMonkey

    I think they both look like boys. Maybe they're those kinds of girls that hate boys but try to look and act like them.....what are they called? Oh yeah, lesbians.

  • xericus

    Yeah, until I read the first paragraph, I though for some reason one of them was the man.

  • Has the geekologie writer gone under some sought of transformation? His writing style has changed =\ 

  • painweaver

    pretty sure he sold the site out or something. hence the super butt pounding gay new theme.

  • cdoll

    Satan hates EYEBROWS.

  • Connor Mason

    i live in milwaukee and saw this on the news... they were spinning the story to show how alternative milwaukee's east side is.

  • This just shows you a man will put up with just about anything if he gets a threesome out of it.

  • Hilarity!

    But about the site, it doesn't feel unique anymore.  Feels just like every other site out there.  I thought we had something special GW?  I thought we had something special.....

  • painweaver

    thats because this isnt the real GW.

    The new GW inherited the site from the previous GW, just as someone else will inherit it from him. The man this GW inherited it from is not the real GW either. His name was Cummerbund. The real GW has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia.

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