Prison Inmate Makes Arsenal Of Final Fantasy Weapons Entirely Out Of Matchsticks

November 7, 2011


A man serving a prison sentence in Wales was recently discovered to be in possession of a Final Fantasy weapon arsenal made entirely out of matchsticks. You know, because that's what you do in prison: make things out of matchsticks (plus hide things in you B-U-T-T!).

The Governor of the prison, Steve Cross, told The Sun, "Their realism presented a genuine threat to the safety of staff, visitors and other prisoners". Meanwhile, a "source" told the tabloid, "It must have taken months. The knives were lethal."

Steve Cross and his staff are obviously not big JRPG fans, then, because nobody realised one was a Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII, or that another--which featured "a fully revolving barrel"--is Squall's gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII.

What do you mean,"the knives were lethal"? What the hell did he use to glue all those matchsticks together, razor blades?! Also, who was slipping him all the matches and what did he have to give them in return? Growing up my dad always told me if I ever go to prison I should try to marry the guy with the most cigarettes. True story.

Prisoner Builds Swords. Final Fantasy Swords. [kotaku]

Thanks to Katrina, which I admittedly read as Kitana at first and was all, "oh shit, girl, from Mortal Kombat?!"

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