Fake Doctor Arrested For Performing Bootleg Butt Implants Of Cement, Super Glue, Tire Sealant

November 21, 2011

wtf-wtf-wtf-wtf-cement-butt.jpg

Please tell me that's not the look you were going for.

Seen here looking like he's about to shit a beach ball, self-proclaimed doctor Oneal Ron Morris poses for his mugshots. Oneal was recently arrested in Miami for performing $700 butt implants consisting of quick-setting cement, super glue, mineral oil and Fix-A-Flat tire sealant. You know, because that's what you put in an ass. Unless it's mine. This ass is Sharpies only.

[Police Seargant William] Bamford said that the procedure was conducted not in a clinic, but in a residential setting in Miami Gardens, and that shortly after the substance was injected into the woman's body she developed what Bamford termed "severe complications."


"[A] short time later, she develops very serious pains, abdomen, throughout her body," Bamford told ABC affiliate WPLG. "She knows something's wrong."

I'm sorry, but I'm really having a hard time feeling sorry for the patient. You really should have known "something's wrong" WHEN YOU AGREED TO PAY $700 TO BABY-GOT-BACK HERE FOR ASS IMPLANTS INJECTED IN HIS LIVING ROOM. I don't care if he told you it was all sterile silicone or whatever, DID YOU SEE HIS ASS? There's no way he can even sit on a toilet seat without rolling off! You have no right to complain. What you do have is an ass that's gonna have to be chiseled off with a jackhammer.

Man Arrested for Boosting Butts With Cement, Fix-A-Flat [abcnews]

Thanks to daniel and Alex, who don't inject asses with anything except flavor marinade. And to Terry, who's convinced somebody injected his ass with cottage cheese while he was sleeping.

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