That's Terrible News: Oral Sess Now Causing More Throat Cancer Than Smoking Cigarettes

October 6, 2011


Damn what I wouldn't give for chest hair like that.

According a recent study, oral sex may be causing more cases of throat cancer that smoking, all thanks to HPV (human papillomavirus). Ha -- and people wonder why I'm afraid to engage in any sexual behavior! Kidding, it's because I've never done it before and privates are icky.

The researchers hypothesize that the virus spreads predominately via oral sex, and that it may already account for more cases of throat cancer than smoking.

The authors write:

If recent incidence trends continue, the annual number of HPV-positive oropharyngeal cancers [which mostly affect men] is expected to surpass the annual number of cervical cancers by the year 2020.

The medical community encourages everyone to get the HPV vaccination unless you're a terrible parent who's convinced vaccinating your child against a sexually transmitted disease IS GONNA MAKE THEM RUN OUT AND HAVE THE SEX. "Well, I've got no chance of catching HPV, and it's practically the only STD and the one I heard causes pregnancy, so...ignore the braces and drive me to makeout point?"

Oral sex might cause more throat cancer than smoking

Thanks to June, who encourages the use of dental dams. Me? I encourage the use of Hoover dams. You can never be too safe.

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