'Noah's Ark' Apocalypse-Proof Survival Balls

October 3, 2011


You'd have a hard time getting me in there even if I knew I was about to die. Get it? I'd never fit through that hole!

Because nobody wants to die in a natural disaster (I want to die in the arms of a lover -- even if it scars them out for life), engineering firm Cosmo has created these 'Noah's Ark' survival balls, which offer increase protection/floatability in the event of an earthquake or tsunami. They're constructed of "enhanced" fiberglass and make it look like Pac-Man gobbled your ass. Mmmm, half-digested dots.

The company's president, Shoji Tanaka, said the capsule could hold four adults and had survived many crash tests.

It has a lookout window and breathing holes, and could also be used as a toy house for children.

Looking a little cramped for four adults aside, I like how they encourage them to be used as toy houses for children. That's actually smart because then the kids get used to them and when the shit hits the fan they're not as terrified to get in there. Me? Hell no, I'm claustrophobic. I even took my closet doors off the hinges just so there's no possibility of ever getting trapped in there. "Tell me you're joking." Of course I'm joking. Closets -- what does this look like, a f***ing mansion?!

Japanese 'Noah's ark' disaster capsule goes on sale [guardian]

Thanks to Reyna, who plans on surviving natural disasters the old fashioned way: shaking a fist at the heavens and yelling, "THAT THE BEST YOU GOT, WIZARD?!"

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