FCC: All Cell Phones Must Have GPS By 2018

October 6, 2011


Picture related: golf cart.

The FCC has announced that all cell phones in the US must have GPS capabilities by 2018 so that authorities can better pin-point 911 calls. Ooooooor make it easier for big brother to track your location. F*** that! *throws cell phone in back of moving truck* What? I saw it in a movie!

According to Courthouse News Service, it's still unclear what the sunset deadline is for use of phones not equipped with GPS. 911 calls from phones without GPS require the carrier to triangulate the caller's location from cell towers, which is less efficient than the phone's GPS simply relaying location data back to emergency services.

Either way, the FCC estimates that with or without the new rules, 85 percent of cell phone owners will have GPS-equipped devices by 2018. Hopefully the leftover 15 percent gets with the program before anything that requires a call to 911 goes down.

That's ridiculous -- a SEVEN YEAR deadline? We're not even going to HAVE cell phones in seven years -- we're gonna be telepathically communicating to each other via embedded neuro-transmitter, kind of like the one I'm using now to write this article by thought while I roll around in bed naked. Damn, if I don't have the world's smallest wiener, it's definitely in the running. Oh shishi. Delete -- DELETE!

FCC Wants GPS In Every Phone By 2018 [techcrunch]

Thanks to David and CFN, who still rock pagers because they don't like the man telling them what to do.

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