Darth Maul, SPOILER: Apparently Not Dead

October 13, 2011


Because George Lucas is a bearded moron who's proved nothing in the past twenty years but the lingering suspicion his earlier successes were dependent on the creativity (and strength to say "no, that idea blows") of others, Jar-George has now decided to resurrect previously cut-in-half Darth Maul in Cartoon Network's Clone Wars animated series. Damn, you strugglin' bro -- like a Sarlaac trying to digest a sail barge. Know what I'm sayin'? I'm saying you're shitting nuts and bolts.

"I found it funny in The Phantom Menace when Darth Maul got cut in half," Clone Wars supervising director Dave Filoni says. "I thought George was definitively saying to the fans, 'There's no way this character is coming back. This is not a Boba Fett/Sarlacc Pit situation where, because of fan love, Boba gets out of that thing any number of ways.' Fast-forward ten-years, and I'm the one to bring Maul back."

Well, mostly. Filoni acknowledges that the order to resurrect the Sith Lord came from George Lucas himself, who became more interested in his Phantom Menace creation while developing Savage Opress for the last season of The Clone Wars.

"Oh yeah, I got interested in a character again so I thought I'd just bring him back to life." THAT'S NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS. Admittedly, I was never a fan of Darth Maul in the first place, so to hear he's coming back is an even bigger pain for me. Dammit George, a true Jedi would know when to take a fall on a lit lightsaber already. *looks up Lucas' worth* $3.2 BILLION?!?! You know what? Screw it all, I'm heading to the Cantina and I'm gonna tell Han I plan on collecting his head for Jabba.

Hit the jump for Cartoon Network's official 'Maul is back' teaser trailer.

Darth Maul Lives! And he's coming to 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars' this spring [ew]

Thanks to Listery, david and Behind Bars (oh shit -- a prison reader!), who agree George should probably start going to meetings...WITH MY FISTS!

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