Pack Your Bags!: 50 New Planets Discovered, Possibly Including Habitable 'Super-Earth'

September 13, 2011


I have no idea what a 'super-earth' is but, using the power of deductive reasoning: if regular earth is where regular humans come from than a super-earth is where superhumans come from. Me? I'm just a mediocre human. One day I'll help an old lady cross the street and the next one I'll lay on the horn for the same grandma trying to do it in front of me. What can I say, I'm an @$$hole complex. Scientists using the European Southern Observatory's telescope have just discovered over 50 new alien planets and believe at least one might be habitable. *packing bags* THIS SHIT BETTER NOT BE SOME F***ING DAGOBAH DUMP.

The newfound haul of alien planets includes 16 super-Earths, which are potentially rocky worlds that are more massive than our planet. One in particular -- called HD 85512 b -- has captured astronomers' attention because it orbits at the edge of its star's habitable zone, suggesting conditions could be ripe to support life.

The potentially habitable super-Earth, officially called HD 85512 b, is estimated to be only 3.6 times more massive than Earth, and its parent star is located about 35 light-years away, making it relatively nearby. HD 85512 b was found to orbit at the edge of its star's habitable zone, which is a narrow region in which the distance is just right that liquid water could exist given the right conditions.

Wait -- did that just say it's only 35-light years away?! What are waiting for -- if we leave now traveling at 671-MILLION MILES PER HOUR we could be there in 35-years! 40 if we have to keep stopping to piss because your parents never taught you how to rubberband your pecker on long car trips.

'Super-Earth,' 1 of 50 newfound planets, just might support life [msnbc]

Thanks to LupusYonderboy, Ali, Lance, SmellsLikeSheez and daniel, who are all welcome aboard my spaceship for the initial colonization BUT MUST BRING THEIR OWN RUBBERBANDS/GATORADE BOTTLES.

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