OMG Did You Here?!: Steve Jobs Resigned!!!1

August 25, 2011


Like how I used 'here' in the title? Because I'm not changing it if you didn't.

Seen here doing his best to keep the doctor away, Steve Jobless resigned from his position as Apple CEO yesterday, citing "that shit's weak". Or something. Hold on, I'll find the actual quote (I got drunk last night and am in like ZERO MOOD). Per the man himself:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple's brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

I didn't actually bother reading that, but it said I should be his successor, didn't it? I thought so. I've seen him comment in the Geekologie comments before. He's always, 'LOL GW -- you so smart and funny!' You know, stuff like that. "That...sounds like a troll." Noooooo -- trolls are all, "FIFTY CENTS TO CROSS THE BRIDGE OR I'LL BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT!" It was definitely him. "Troll." But he spelled his name right and everything!

Steve Jobs Resigns as Apple CEO [wallstreetjournal]

Thanks to everyone who sent this for making tips outweight boner-pill spam for once.

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