IBM Creates Brain-Mimicking Computer Chips

August 18, 2011


So IBM was awarded a (surprise!) DARPA government grant to more or less create Skynet computer chips and, what do you know, they're making progress. BUT NOT FOR LONG! *pulling wires out of back of computer* "Why'd you do that?" I DON'T F***ING KNOW, I GET EXCITED! Hey -- why'd my monitor go black?

The announcement comes nearly three years after IBM and several university partners were awarded a grant by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) to re-create the brain's perception, cognitive, sensation, interaction, and action abilities, while also simulating its efficient size and low-power consumption.

"What I hold in my hand as I speak," Modha told CNET by phone Wednesday, "is our first cognitive computing core that combines computing in the form of neurons, memory in the form of synapses, and communications in the form of axons...[and] in working silicon, and not PowerPoint."

Brain chips: wonderful news, really. So here's the plan. You might call me crazy, but future generations might call me the savior of humanity. This is it: we use zombies to fight the robot apocalypse for us. Get it?! They love brain chips -- they'll gobble those robotic f****ers up! Then we nuke them and earth will make me its king.

IBM says new chip mimics the human brain [cnet]

Thanks to Sgt Rebel, Drew, bsmorrow and Mike, who have all kicked zombies so hard their penises fell off (the zombies', not theirs).

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