Diablo III: Must Be Connected To Internet, Cash Transactions For Game Swag, No Mods

August 1, 2011


Diablo II, a game best known for being "too satanic for my impressionable young mind" to be allowed to play EVEN THOUGH I WAS IN COLLEGE, came out in 2000. And now, *counting on fingers* 11 years later, some details have been released on the followup, cleverly titled Diablo III: Vaya Con Dios. Just kidding, it's just Diablo III because they obviously didn't read any of my letters. The bad news:

1) The game requires a constant internet connection. It cannot be played offline.

2) Mods are "expressly prohibited."
3) Items in the auction house are bought and sold for real-life money.

Well -- how do you Diablo players feel about this? "Who gives a shit, I think my mom's ordering pizza for dinner!" OMG -- Little Caesars?! Think you might have room for one more at the dinner table? "For you? No." OH LOOK FATTY HERE WANTS A WHOLE PIZZA TO HIMSELF.

Hit the jump for Blizzard's rationale for the three decisions, none of which involve "a better gaming experience."

1) "One of the things that we felt was really important was that if you did play offline, if we allowed for that experience, you'd start a character, you'd get him all the way to level 20 or level 30 or level 40 or what have you, and then at that point you might decide to want to venture onto Battle.net. But you'd have to start a character from scratch, because there'd be no way for us to guarantee no cheats were involved, if we let you play on the client and then take that character online." Also, piracy.

2) "For a variety of gameplay and security reasons, we will not be supporting bots or mods in Diablo III, and they'll be expressly prohibited by our terms of use for the game."

3) "We think it's really going to add a lot of depth to the game. If I have more money than time I can purchase items, or if I'm leet in the game I can get benefits out of it. The players really want it. This is something that we know people are going to do either way. We can provide them a really safe, awesome, fun experience, or they'll find ways of doing it elsewhere."

Diablo III: No Mods, Online-Only, Cash Trades [rockpapershotgun]

Thanks to Bender, who just sent a black-magic curse to Blizzard written in goat's blood with a wizard dick pen that will doom the company to bankruptcy if read aloud.

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