Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Shotgun

July 15, 2011


This is the definitive zombie apocalypse survival shotgun. To the untrained eye, it might just look like a shotgun. To the slightly trained eye it might look like a Mossberg 500 Pump-Action Shotgun. But to somebody with f***in' laser-vision, this is the shit you want in your hands when the rotting hordes are running rampant. It includes:

  • two side saddles for quick reloading (and a total shotgun carrying capacity of 19 -- the shotgun itself holds 7+1) containing cartridges with bird shot, 00 buck shot, slugs and signal flares.
  • a 5" bayonet knife mounted to the barrel
  • a tactical flashlight/compass combo mounted to the barrel
  • a hollow buttstock containing an emergency survival kit with baking pan, trash bag, fishing kit, 2 non-lubricated condoms (for water storage, NOT f***ing zombies), water purification taps, reflective survival blanket (which not be the best idea considering zombies love shiny things), a small first-aid kit, Carmex lip balm, a whistle, small Bic lighter and snare wire
  • a hollow vertical grip containing a small fire-starting kit (matches, striker, steel wool, WetFire brand fire starting material)
  • a hollow pistol grip containing a multi-tool
  • a saw that can be attached between the buttstock and gun handle for cutting down wood
  • a braided paracord gun sling
  • American flag bandana
  • custom plaque

Damn! I want to be on this guy's side when the shit starts splattering! Well, technically I want to be behind him and not to the side because 1. I don't actually want to get hit with any dookie and 2. I want to conserve my ammo and let him to all the heavy lifting. Sure some might say that makes me a coward, but I would shoot those people right in their faces, then when dude looks back at me I'd be all, 'I'm pretty sure those were all zombies -- let's keep moving."

Hit the jump for a couple detail shots but be sure to check out dude's whole article where he discusses everything in depth because he is waaaaaaaaaaaay serious about this thing.












Arming Yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse: How to Build the Ultimate Survival Shotgun [artofmanliness]

Thanks to lil co, who blasted me straight through the heart with a cartridge of whatever the hell cupid tips his arrows with.

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