Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Shotgun

July 15, 2011

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This is the definitive zombie apocalypse survival shotgun. To the untrained eye, it might just look like a shotgun. To the slightly trained eye it might look like a Mossberg 500 Pump-Action Shotgun. But to somebody with f***in' laser-vision, this is the shit you want in your hands when the rotting hordes are running rampant. It includes:

  • two side saddles for quick reloading (and a total shotgun carrying capacity of 19 -- the shotgun itself holds 7+1) containing cartridges with bird shot, 00 buck shot, slugs and signal flares.
  • a 5" bayonet knife mounted to the barrel
  • a tactical flashlight/compass combo mounted to the barrel
  • a hollow buttstock containing an emergency survival kit with baking pan, trash bag, fishing kit, 2 non-lubricated condoms (for water storage, NOT f***ing zombies), water purification taps, reflective survival blanket (which not be the best idea considering zombies love shiny things), a small first-aid kit, Carmex lip balm, a whistle, small Bic lighter and snare wire
  • a hollow vertical grip containing a small fire-starting kit (matches, striker, steel wool, WetFire brand fire starting material)
  • a hollow pistol grip containing a multi-tool
  • a saw that can be attached between the buttstock and gun handle for cutting down wood
  • a braided paracord gun sling
  • American flag bandana
  • custom plaque

Damn! I want to be on this guy's side when the shit starts splattering! Well, technically I want to be behind him and not to the side because 1. I don't actually want to get hit with any dookie and 2. I want to conserve my ammo and let him to all the heavy lifting. Sure some might say that makes me a coward, but I would shoot those people right in their faces, then when dude looks back at me I'd be all, 'I'm pretty sure those were all zombies -- let's keep moving."

Hit the jump for a couple detail shots but be sure to check out dude's whole article where he discusses everything in depth because he is waaaaaaaaaaaay serious about this thing.

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Arming Yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse: How to Build the Ultimate Survival Shotgun [artofmanliness]

Thanks to lil co, who blasted me straight through the heart with a cartridge of whatever the hell cupid tips his arrows with.

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