TSA Body Scans: Now With Less Privates

July 22, 2011


Why this has taken so long is beyond me (although I suspect it has something to do with a lack of ingenuity and an excess of "boobs -- I can see boobs!"), but now airport body scans will show the TSA agent a generic human diagram with the area where you hid the bomb highlighted instead of actually showing your penis. Of course, right when I was starting to enjoy the exhibitionism. *flashes open trenchcoat to reveal jean overalls* What? I didn't say I was good at it.

Once the new software is installed, all the agent will see is a generic body outline that the TSA describes as looking like a gingerbread man. None of your junk will be visible, yet the TSA says they will still be able to determine if you're hiding any prohibited stuff.

Another new change is that you will be allowed to see the scanned image for yourself

I think we can all agree the real news here is that you'll finally be able to see the scanner results yourself. Because if there's one thing airport security has been missing, it's people rubbernecking to see a generic outline of a human body of themselves. Know what I'm sayin'? I'm saying this airport better have a f***ing Cinnabon.

TSA nudie scans will get new software that hides your junk [dvice]

Thanks to Tony, who's not allowed on planes because he's a terrorist tiger. OMG -- tell me you know the Trix rabbit!

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