Sure To Be This Summer's Hottest Hit (Don't Hold Me To That): Water-Soaked Knee Hockey

July 27, 2011


There are two kinds of fun in the world: 1. the kind that involves playing Water Soaked Knee Hockey, and 2. drugs and alcohol [Editor's note: you can't say that, GW] 2. loose women [Editor's Note: that either] 2. doing something illegal [Editor's Note: last chance] 2. the kind that doesn't. But this isn't about that second kind, this is all about $50 Water Soaked Knee Hockey.

This is the backyard game that lets two players square-off in a sliding, water-soaked game of knee hockey. Thirty tiny nozzles built into both sides of the rink spray 24" high fountains of water that saturate the surface and players, ensuring ecstatic slipping and jockeying for control of the oversized plastic puck. Each player is equipped with a soft plastic hockey stick for defending.

Admittedly, I would play and whip your ass at that. But that's not what I came here to talk about, I came here to make fun of this product because I'm a jerk. Alternatively, I could make fun of myself because I'm a self-deprecating chubster. Or -- OR -- I could write something completely unrelated about playing Water Soaked Tonsil Hockey. Unfortunately, that last option's out of the question because I don't actually have my tonsils anymore because they got infected trying to suck life's proverbial peener through a McDonalds straws. Also, this product is a giant turd in an unflushable commode. Well will you look at that -- all three in one. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! *laps the court giving high-fives with TP trailing out of my shorts*

Hammacher Schlemmer Product Site (surprise surprise)
This Slip 'N Slide Hockey Rink Will Give You A Good Time, Bloody Knees [gizmodo]

Thanks to Jones, who once rode a Slip n' Slide straight into America's heart. Well, technically it was another dude's crotch but he did take home the $10K on AFV.

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