These Are Not The Kids You're Looking For: Principal Lifts Suspension For Lightsaber Duel

June 2, 2011

the dark side.jpg

Remember the two high school seniors that were suspended for 10 days and threatened with not being able to walk during their graduation ceremony after holding a mock lightsaber duel in the school's cafeteria? Well their principal, who will remain anonymous but whose actual name is Raymond K. Broderick, has lifted the suspension after three days and decided to allow the young padawans to walk during graduation. Gungan balls: Raymond could still tell you how salty they are.

"Suspensions carry the potential of exclusion from senior activities, including graduation night," the principal added. "These incidents may have been poor choices on their part, but I am comfortable that they will all go forward and succeed and have learned from this."

"These are all great kids with super futures, and they understand the consequences of their action," the principal said.

"...and they understand the consequence of their action"?! I can honestly say that, after choreographing a lightsaber duel in the school cafeteria, the last consequence I'd expect is suspension and missing graduation. A food fight or having to wait till college to kiss a girl, sure, but suspension? Principal Palpatine here clearly needs to lighten up. Get it? Like from the Dark Side!

'Star Wars' duo to join procession [massonline]

Thanks to Zack, who burnt a giant penis into the football field with gasoline for a senior prank. Like a proud father I am.

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