The Future Of Airport Security Screening: As Simple As Installing A 'Terrorist' Line!

June 8, 2011


Is this the future of airport security screening? I dunno, but I'd hate to be in the terrorist line! "Um, honey -- we've got like twenty yellow-liners on our flight."

Instead of a single screening procedure applied to all fliers, the group envisions that passengers would be divided into risk categories based on the information available about them.

They would then be directed to one of three lanes: "Known Traveler," "Normal" and "Enhanced Security."

"Today's checkpoint was designed four decades ago to stop hijackers carrying metal weapons. ... It is time to rethink everything..."

"That means moving from a system that looks for bad objects to one that can find bad people," Bisignani said.

A biometric identifier in your passport would determine which lane you go through based on a risk assessment performed before you arrive at the airport.

I have no clue how hard it is to steal/falsify passports these days, but I did have a convincing fake New Jersey drivers license back in 1999. It said I was 23 but I couldn't even grow a beard. Or pubes! Or hard with a naked lady standing right in front of me. "What were you, gay?" Ha -- only for three days of senior spring break. Amirite guys?! Guys?

Is this the checkpoint of the future? [cnn]

Thanks to Evil Ares, who agrees the real future of airport security is sedating everyone before a flight. F*** YEAH -- I don't even care if I crap myself!

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