The Crovel: Your New Apocalyptic Survival Tool

May 5, 2011


The Crovel is like the Swiss Army Kite of shovels. "Knife -- not kite, numbnuts." Yeah, whatever. It packs 13 different tools into a single unit (reminds me of my last kegger!). "What tools" you ask? LEMME TELL YA:

  1. Shovel
  2. Crowbar
  3. Pryer/Nail Remover (hey that's just part of a crowbar!)
  4. Axe
  5. Hoe (you are!)
  6. Hammer
  7. Serrated Knife
  8. Cleaver
  9. Saw
  10. Machete
  11. Can Opener
  12. Grapping Hook
  13. Chair

All that in a 5-and-a-half pound stick for $85. I bought two. I keep one in the house and one in my ass trunk! Plus it works for threatening a neighbor after he lets his dog shit in your yard. I WILL KILL YOU, CUT YOU UP AND BURY YOU ALL WITH THE SAME TOOL. Then grappling hook onto my roof and open a beer.

One more shot comparing the Crovel to all the tools it replaces after the jump.


Purchase Site
Crovel [uncrate]

Thanks to greg, who already had all the separate tools and decided to just tape them all together. Not gonna lie bro, that thing looks like shit.

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