Umbrella Mistaken For Gun, Mall Evacuated

April 19, 2011


Note: Umbrella in question was a samurai umbrella, but you can get an actual rifle umbrella HERE in case you want the cops called for good reason.

Because most people (basically everyone besides us) are halfwit shit-for-brains that live their lives in constant fear because they watch the local news, some woman (it doesn't actually say it was a woman but you and I both know it was) called the police and reported a gunman at the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts after spotting a man with a samurai umbrella attached to his backpack AND CONVINCING HERSELF IT WAS A RIFLE. She didn't even bother tackling the guy, proving not only is she a spaz, but also a coward. IT WASN'T EVEN A GUNBRELLA, GOD!

Police received a call from inside the mall saying that a man was seen shortly after 10 a.m. with a rifle inside the Nordstrom's department store at the Burlington Mall.

The "gun" was believed to be attached to the man's backpack.

State and local police searched the mall and evacuated customers and store workers.

The man in question, who heard the news of what was happening, called State Police from Lahey Clinic where he reportedly is an employee. The man told police he thought he was the person that was seen in the mall.

After interviewing the man and reviewing security tapes, police determined the man was in fact not carrying a gun, but an umbrella.

No word if they charged the caller with disturbing the peace and 'being an idiot-moron', but I sure hope so. Next time how about you ask somebody else's opinion before calling the police?

"Psst, sir -- over here, in the coat rack. Give to to me straight -- is that man over there by the perfume counter carrying a gun?"
"That's a hotdog."
"Soooooooooo -- call the police or no?"

Burlington Mall evacuated after umbrella mistaken for gun [myfoxboston]
Burlington Police Detail Events of Man With Umbrella Mistaken for Gunman at Burlington Mall [burlingtonpatch]

Thanks to Doug, who mistook a McDonalds 20-piece for a bomb once. Okay well that I can see.

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