Sauna Pants: For Sweating Your Balls Off

April 29, 2011


Sauna Pants may look like a flotation device but there's not gonna be anything bobbing around in a pool of sweat but your penis. I only bought a pair just because I've always wanted a pair of shorts that have to be plugged in. The temperature is adjustable from 95-160ºF and are supposed to help you lose weight, which makes sense because you're going to end up sweating both balls off. For me that's upwards of 40 pounds. For you? Nano-ounces. "There's no such thing as a nano-ounce." YOU SHUT UP. Allegedly there's no such thing as wizards either but then how does TV work? "Are you seriously asking?" No, I know all about magic. Also: what makes women tick. "Clock parts?" I HAD A HUNCH!

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Thanks to Mark, who loses weight the old fashioned way: cutting off limbs.

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