Not April Fools :( Bagged Keychain Turtles

April 1, 2011


Hang in there, Michelangelo!

As reported back in June 2008, Chinese street vendors have been selling bagged keychain fish for awhile now, but have since also moved to keychain turtles. WTF!?!? Zombie Jonathan is probably crying his lil' turtle-liking heart out right now!

Filled with colored water, each 7-centimeter long key ring encapsulated either one Brazil turtle or two small kingfish, and is filled with "nutrient rich" water, by which vendors claim allow the animals to live for several months.

Several months?! Those poor bastards won't last a week! Sooooooooo -- hypothetically speaking, how long do you think a street vendor could last in a car trunk? Also, what's the rule about carry-ons filled with zip-ties and duct tape on international flights? I'm asking for a friend. Okay, five friends (f*** yeah Master Splinter's coming!)

A couple more pics of the sadness after the jump.



Cruel and Bizarre Live Fish and Turtle Key Chains [helablog]
Depressing: Chinese Vendors Selling Live Fish and Turtles in Plastic Bags as Keychains [geekosystem]

Thanks to Kake-a-doo, who, meet me at the airport. I'll be the one with four turtles and a giant rat all wearing fake beards. Except Splinter, his is real. He will be wearing a bald-cap though.

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