Get Off The Mound, Johnny Five!: Robot Throws First Pitch At Phillies Game, Sucks

April 21, 2011



Seen here failing to even get the ball to Cookie Monster's retarded older brother (WHO'S WELL IN FRONT OF THE PLATE), a robot throws the first pitch at last night's Phillies game against the Brewers. But wait, there's an excuse for the fail (isn't there always? SHUT UP AND ADMIT YOU SUCK, GOD):

This robot, designed by the University of Pennsylvania, gives the first pitch at a Phillies game, pitching to the Phillie Phanatic. Unfortunately, the Phillie Phanatic apparently broke its wrist catching a pitch last year. This time, at the last minute, the robot's engineers were told to turn the pitching arm's power down, so as not to hurt the Phanatic again. If you look closely, you can see the Phanatic point at its wrist after catching the ball. This robot has the potential to throw a ball at very high speeds, if the settings were set to allow for it.

First of all, the Phillies Phanatic has got to be one of the most ridiculous looking mascots in the entire history of mascots (Cubbies FTW!) and deserves to have a lot more than just his wrist broken -- WHICH I HEARD HE ACTUALLY BROKE MASTURBATING TO BIG BIRD. You want you kids taking pictures with a mascot like that? Just sayin', Sesame Street is like porno to him.

Hit the jump for the 'I would've just subbed in an actual pitching machine or tennis-ball launcher'.

UPenn's PhillieBot throws out first pitch, Skynet calls for a reliever [engadget]

Thanks to Richard McBeef, Zackie O and The Real Ski, who don't play ball with robots, only ballistics.

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