China: No More Wonky Time-Travel Plots In Television Shows

April 14, 2011


China, in an attempt to curb inaccurate portrayals of the country's past, has created a list of guidelines for television programs that discourage the use of time-travel in plots. So yeah, no more going back and changing history. The Great Wall was originally built as a tape-measure for my peen AND THAT'S FINAL.

In a statement dated March 31, the State Administration for Radio, Film & Television said that TV dramas that involve characters traveling back in time "lack positive thoughts and meaning." The guidelines discouraging this type of show said that some "casually make up myths, have monstrous and weird plots, use absurd tactics, and even promote feudalism, superstition, fatalism and reincarnation."

The guidelines, which fell short of an outright ban of such dramas, seem to have come in response to a series of popular programs about protagonists drifting back to ancient times. For instance, in "Palace," one of China's hottest TV series, a woman falls in love with a Qing dynasty painting, travels back in time and then falls in love with several princes.

Oh man, I fell in love with a painting once. It was a nude. I used to visit the museum everyday on my break just to see it. Think Pierce Brosnan in the 'Thomas Crown Affair', but with more trying to nonchalantly masturbate with a sack lunch in his lap.

Making TV Safer: Chinese Censors Crack Down on Time Travel [nytimes]
China Decides to Ban Time Travel [time]

Thanks to BooGT, who only wants to ban future time-travel from TV so there aren't any riots when we don't actually get Hoverboards.

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