Monster Energy: Now With More Dead Mickey

March 31, 2011


Energy AND protein -- I'm down.

19-year old liar Vitaliy Sulzhik claims he found a dead mouse in the bottom of a Monster Energy drink. YOU SHUT THE F*** UP VITTLES -- I USE THOSE THINGS FOR CHASERS SOMETIMES!

Vitaliy Sulzhik had downed the energy drink shortly after buying it, only to feel 'debris' in his mouth as he finished the can.

The 19-year-old inspected the bottom of his drink and saw the tip of a mouse tail sitting at the bottom.

'Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere.

'Anytime anyone talks about monster, I just get that sick feeling in my stomach.

Mr Sulzhik has been unable to drink anything from a can in the year since the incident, he said.

I'm actually with you, Vitaliy. One time I was emptying a Shlitz can into a mug (I'm a classy broad) at a bar and, no lie: A GIANT LOOGIE POURED OUT. I haven't been able to drink anything but wine coolers since. "HA -- I bet you just made that up just so you can drink that girly shit!" I DID NOT. Besides, it was just a phase, I don't even like those anymore. "Then why are your lips red?" I BLEW THE KOOL-AID MAN MIND YOUR BUSINESS, GOD!

News report complete with more nastiness after the jump.

Man sues Monster Energy Drink company after drinking part of a dead mouse in his can [telegraph]

Thanks to Vanessa, who doesn't need energy drinks to stay up at night, just a crying-ass baby.

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