I've got that same hat!
This is a beer saddle for your dog. It holds four cans or bottles. I don't know about you, but I could really go for a warm beer covered in dog hair right now. The saddle fits most larger breeds (and crush most smaller breeds) and is currently on clearance for a paltry $19. Sorry, most miserable dog in the world sold separately.
Thanks to Melissa, who once taped a sippy cup to a cat. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!