Scientists One Step Closer To 'Universal Flu Vaccine' (Cue Unstoppable Supervirus)

February 7, 2011


Seen here looking like an exploding nebula or some such shit, a strain of flu prepares to have its ass whipped and lil' tentacle dealies torn off by a new flu vaccine. That's right folks, scientists at Oxford University believe a vaccine capable of combating EVERY strain of flu is just around the corner. And just around my corner? A homeless man who'll yell at you if you don't give him a quarter. Oxford University: 1, my neighborhood: 0 (and -4 after dark!)

The treatment - using a new technique and tested for the first time on humans infected with flu - targets a different part of the flu virus to traditional vaccines, meaning it does not need expensive reformulation every year to match the most prevalent virus that is circulating the world.

Developed by a team led by Dr Sarah Gilbert at Oxford's Jenner Institute, the vaccine targets proteins inside the flu virus that are common across all strains, instead of those that sit on the virus's external coat, which are liable to mutate.

If used widely a universal flu vaccine could prevent pandemics, such as the swine flu outbreaks of recent years, and end the need for a seasonal flu jab.

Sure it could prevent pandemics, ooooor it could cause the flu to mutate into some sort of zombie virus that makes all our penises fall off and wanna eat each others' brains. Huh? No not nuts you pervert -- actual brains! Then where are we left? We?! There's no we! Your zombie ass is gonna be left on an island! "Hey, as long as it's the island from LOST." Ha, "the island from LOST." YOU'LL GET ICELAND AND LIKE IT!

Flu breakthrough promises a vaccine to kill all strains [guardian]

Thanks to Jason, who agrees the best way to combat the flu is pounding some curry as hot as you can stand it at least once a week. If your ass doesn't spontaneously Mt. Vesuvius on you later that night, you did it wrong. Trust me, I crap my pants on the reg and haven't been sick in years.

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