February 10, 2011


It's here, it's Skynet, we're all dead.

UPDATE: I posted this last week, but since the BBC article came out I've gotten the tip again like a hundred times, so I'm moving it to the top. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T READ EVERYDAY?!

That's right folks, scientists have developed a network that autonomous robots can use to send and obtain directions on how to perform various tasks (i.e. punch through your face). *moves doomsday clock forward to 11:59 and 30-seconds*

RoboEarth is an attempt at creating a sort of Google Earth/Internet for robots, a place where standardized navigation and object information can be uploaded, stored, and then downloaded by a bot that needs it.

Scientists and researchers from the Technical University of Eindhoven, Philips & the universities of Stuttgart, München, Zaragoza & Zurich have just made a huge breakthrough with RoboEarth. They have managed to get the TechUnited AMIGO robot (pictured above) to download all the information it needs for a specific task and then carry out this task. The task seems simple, the robot had to pick up and serve a bottle of water to a person. The AMIGO was successful in doing this autonomously.

Worried yet? "Nah, I can take 'em." Daaaaaaw, that's cute -- but no, you couldn't. You can't even take a piss without hosing your own feet, let alone fight a robot apocalypse. But thankfully for you, there's me. Fear not, ladies and gentleman, you have my personal guarantee that when the robotic shit hits the fan, I'll be the first person to take up arms, then sneak out the back and blast off into outerspace to colonize another planet with the finest-ass space-honey. Later jerks!

Hit the jump for a video demo (set to blaring techno, seriously -- whose brilliant f***ing idea was that?!) of the system that'll kill us all.

RoboEarth [make]

Internet for Robots Lets Bots Share Instructions and Learn from One Another
Robots to get their own internet [bbc]

Thanks to asiantom, bob, Xenopo, Cathy and B Maxwell, who I'm putting in charge after I leave. Listen to them, or you can kiss your ass goodbye (tits too).

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