IBM's 'Watson' Wins Jeopardy Tournament, Ken Jennings Concedes Like Lil' Nancyboy

February 17, 2011


Well folks, the IBM Jeopardy Challenge is over and humanity lost. After an intense three-day battle pitting human knowledge vs. an IBM supercomputer, Brian Rutter and Ken Jennings got smoked, and Ken posted this shameful message under his answer question during Final Jeopardy.

In a victory for science, Watson, the IBM-developed artificial intelligence, has indeed won. The final scores were $77,147 for Watson, $24,000 for Ken Jennings, and $21,600 for Brad Rutter.

All three contestants answered the Final Jeopardy question correctly, but by then Ken Jennings admitted what we've all been thinking: it's time to welcome our new artificial intelligence overlords.

WTF, Ken?! Listen -- YOU can hand out all the robot HJ's you want, BUT I AIN'T DOWN. I wouldn't even kick a robot in the dong for fear it might pop a hard-drive. Then what? If you answered, "a brief, awkward silence before roundhouse-punching its head through a wall", then yes, that is what would happen. As a matter of fact -- and I don't know if you readers knew this about me, but I actually wear a piece of the first robot I ever destroyed around my neck like a trophy. See? "Is that...its wiener?" What! No it's not its wiener, I think it's like a finger or something. "Are you sure? Because it has 'T-1000 Penis Module' stamped right on the side." Haha, is that what that says?

Hit the jump for the entire last episode of the three-day tournament if you're interested.

The Final Night Of IBM's Jeopardy Challenge: How Did Watson Do? [crunchgear]
Ken Jennings Pays Allegiance To Watson [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Kaching, X-raptor, Kevin, Justinsane, Timothy and Jim, any one of which would have whipped Watson's ass (probably with Alex's podium).

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