What Could Go Wrong?: New Contacts To "Project Images Directly Onto Your Eyeballs"

January 11, 2011


Because honest-to-goodness laser-vision is still another 40 years out (I've been to the future and seen it -- I just didn't understand the technology), scientists are constantly making incremental steps in that direction. The next little "breakthrough"? Contacts that project images directly on the back of your eyeball that will eventually be determined cause blindness. Thanks but no thanks, Hour Eyes!

Researchers at the University of Washington have been working on extremely tiny and semi-transparent LEDs designed to be integrated into contact lenses. So far, they've managed to create red pixels and blue pixels, and when they can figure out green ones, they'll be able to make full color displays.

Despite being millimeters from your retinas, the images created by the lenses will be in perfect focus, and when the display is turned off, everything will be transparent. Since the lenses are inside your eyelids, though, you can't un-see anything that they decide to project, which is something that you'll have to consider when you're watching something especially scary or gross on them. Power will come from a beltpack that transmits electricity wirelessly to a resonating antenna in the lens itself, and data will be transmitted the same way so that you don't have to plug HDMI cables into your eye sockets.

Right, key words being, "CAN'T UN-SEE ANYTHING THAT THEY DECIDE TO PROJECT". Because if you think for one second I won't hijack everybody's contacts and burn a bunch of penises directly into your retinas, you've got another thing coming. Namely, permanent peen-vision. LOOK OUT -- YOU'RE DRIVING STRAIGHT FOR A WIENER!

Contact lenses will project images directly onto your eyeballs [dvice]

Thanks to Richard and Molotov Crocodile, who can both see with their eyes closed because they cut little holes in their lids. LOLWUT?!

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