Sock No More!: Underwear w/ Built-In Wiener

January 6, 2011


Note: Jump is NSFW on account of fake-ass wieners.

Seen here looking suspiciously like they Photoshopped some uglier a-hole's face on my body, a model models a pair of wiener-enhancin' underwear (which are far more advanced than THESE ones) from designer Andrew Christian. Way to call yourself out, Andrew! GEE, I WONDER WHO HAS A SMALL PENIS?! Haha, yeah it's me. :(

The Shock Jock Flirt Boxer and Brief. These revolutionary new skivvies feature a soft hidden cup, sculpted into a penis shape (available in black or white models!), that adds around 2 inches to guy's frontal measurement. "Guys want underwear that looks natural, feels great and makes them feel confident," says Christian.

No Andrew, guys don't want underwear that "looks natural, feels great and makes them feel confident", guys want underwear that makes it look like they have a giant submarine sandwich for a penis that women find twice as mouth-watering as a $5 footlong from Subway. Which reminds me: one time I stuffed a sweatshirt down my pants before a date and the girl was so impressed she couldn't wait to get back home. Literally -- she excused herself to the restroom and then dove out a restaurant window and ran. DAMMIT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING DUTCH!

Hit the jump for some NSFW shots of the wienerwear, along with a shot of the designer, who, despite his looks, is actually straight.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA -- did I fool anybody?!




WTF: Underwear With A Built-In Penis [refinery29]

Thanks to Jacqueline, who insists her man wear wiener-reduction underwear because he's already so well endowed. *ahem* Yeah, same here.

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