Real-Life Superhero Phoenix Jones' Nose Discovers Its Kryptonite (SPOILER: Fists)

January 13, 2011


Look for the guy wearing Breathe-Right strips.

Just a week after making his do-gooder way around the interwebs, real-life "superhero" Phoenix Jones has had his nose broken by an evil-doer, proving two noteworthy weaknesses: 1) well-placed punches and 2) lack of quick-healing superpowers. *Wolverine laughs and lights a cigar*

Phoenix Jones's accomplices are nicknamed Thorn, Buster Doe, Green Reaper, Gemini, No Name, Catastrophe, Thunder 88 and Penelope.

In what could turn out to be the rise of the obligatory comic-book super villain, police have been told by the group to disregard Captain Ozone or Knight Owl - because they are not part of the movement.

Phoenix Jones says he called the police when he saw a brawl brewing in Lynnwood and put one man in a headlock while he waited for police. But then another man pulled a gun and the superhero's nose was broken.

The suburban superhero, who stalks the streets in black and gold, described his injury as part and parcel of the job.

HA! The broken nose isn't even the funny part, it's the fact that these "superheroes" notified the police that Captain Ozone and Knight Owl weren't in their club! Reminds me of the time Robin called Commissioner Gordon encouraging him not to work with Batman anymore for "never giving him a reach-around". TOLD YOU HE WAS A SELFISH LOVER!

Seattle's superhero has his nose broken in fight with real-life baddy [dailymail]

Thanks to Bluness, Vince and Sally, who fight crime the safe way: watching America's Most Wanted.

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