PSA: Stay In School And Study Hard, Kids

January 19, 2011


This is a proposed warning to print in the front of science textbooks to remind children to take their educations seriously. Because, let's not kid ourselves -- nobody wants to be left out of the dino rodeo. Me most of all. Unfortunately, like learning to tie my own shoes or use the microwave, my window of opportunity slammed shut (on my scrote!) years ago. Sadly, it's all velcro and pb&j's for this guys. But you young guns -- there's still hope for you. LEARN, DAMMIT -- LEARN! Then, when you ARE the first person to clone a dinosaur, call me, and we'll be BFF's. Or at least pretend to be until I brain you with a bag of frozen peas and sex your whole dino park. Ever made love to a Stegosaurus while trying to hold your wiener steady between two strands of electric fencing? Think playing 'Operation', but with your penis on the line. Shit just got real, son! Real good feeling.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Thanks to Jax, SNAFUPAGUS and Erin, who sleep on textbooks because they're convinced they can learn through osmosis. Uh, guys? How many years of 8th grade is it gonna take to realize it doesn't work?

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