Milking It Dry: Mattel Rolling Out Questionable Analog 'Angry Birds' Games Later This Year

January 10, 2011


Suckle that teat much longer and you're gonna inhale a nipple!

Because knowing when to stop doesn't exist in the American business model, Mattel is releasing a series of 'Angry Birds' themed games later this year. This is 'Angry Birds: Knock on Wood', a $15 plastic playset in which players try to hit pigs with birds launched from a catapult (just like in the computer game!!!!!11). Are we having fun yet? Maybe for the first 30-seconds. There's also a card-based game in the works that will probably suck equal amounts of pig-peen, BUT I WILL WITHHOLD JUDGMENT UNTIL ITS RELEASE. Sike, it'll blow.

Full disclosure: I have 3-stars on every level (including Holidays) and all the golden eggs but only because I spend a lot of time on the john. Like, a lot a lot. 8 hours a day at least.

Hit the jump for two closeups if you give a cluck. Cluck! God I slay me.



Mattel shows Angry Birds playset at CES [ilounge]

Thanks to Darwin Police and Allyson, who agree the birds that should really be angry are all those dead ones in the midwest.

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