Tokyo, We Have A Problem: Japanese Space Probe Misses Venus Orbit, Retry In 6 Years

December 9, 2010


Woopsie daisy.

The Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA, despite the E in Exploration) attempted to insert a probe into Uranus's core Venus's orbit Tuesday but failed due to bad "orbit estimation". No biggie, the probe can try again in six years provided the country's not decimated by Godzilla in the meantime, which is a real possibility.

Launched in May, Akatsuki was designed to orbit Venus for two years and study the sweltering planet's weather using a suite of five cameras.

Although Akatsuki [the probe] does not have enough fuel left to turn around, it has settled into orbit around the sun. That means JAXA can try again for orbital insertion around Venus when Akatsuki returns to the planet in six years.

JAXA officials said in a press conference today that the likelihood of a successful insertion then is "high."

Uh, why was the likelihood of success not "high" this time, hmmmmm? Did you ever stop to think maybe Venus doesn't want an alien probe all up in her privates taking video. And can you blame her? After all, she is the goddess of love and beauty. Which -- DAMMIT JAPAN, WAS THIS GONNA BE A FETISH FILM?!

Japan Probe Missed Venus--Will Try Again in Six Years [nationalgeographic]

Thanks to Samuel & Daniel, who once peeked up Mars' skirt and were surprised to see a giant cannon of a dong. You, uh, didn't know he was the god of war, right?

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