For The Elderly: A Million Volt Taser Cane

December 31, 2010


The elderly: they're brittle. If a mugger swings a sockful of nickels at one 9 times out of 5 they're gonna break something. Worried about the safety of your pop-pop and meemaw? Get 'em a taser cane. Me? I'm holding out for a flask AND taser cane. I'm tasin' errbody out here!

Steady yourself, light your way and be ready to protect yourself if needed! This ZAP Stun Cane features an adjustable walking cane, an ultra-bright LED flashlight and a stun gun with an unheard of 1-million volt charge that will knock down any attacker. The cane has a weight capacity of 250 lbs and is adjustable from 32" to 36". They'll think it is just a cane until it is too late! It is even rechargeable and includes a wall charger and carrying case.

Note: This item cannot ship to HI, MA, MI, NJ, NY, RI, WI, PA.

If your state appeared in the list above your local government basically hates old people and wants them all to die. Sorry, that's just the facts. Also, I won't ever need a cane because my penis acts as an extra leg. Also, as Hamlet in a local theater production. Classically trained wiener over here!

Product Site
Million-volt cane helps you walk while knocking others to the ground [dvice]

Thanks to Mickey91, who once taser-caned a urine puddle in the men's rest room and sent five dudes to the hospital with charred taints and smoldering pubes. LOLWUT?!

Previous Post
Next Post