There Are Good Ideas, Bad Ideas, And THIS: Autonomous Robots Guarding Nevada Nukes

October 5, 2010


Autonomous robots guarding The Nevada National Security Site, "home to tens of millions of cubic feet of low-level radioactive waste -- and location of over a thousand Cold War nuclear weapons tests", what could possibly go wrong? Answer: EVERYTHING. Including, and not just limited to: mutants and WW3.

The first of a planned trio of Mobile Detection Assessment Response Systems, or MDARS, is currently patrolling some of the more remote sections of the 1,360 square mile facility.

The camera-equipped MDARS can scoot around pre-determined paths on its own, alerting flesh-and-blood guards when it encounters an intruder or a broken lock. In development by the Navy and General Dynamics since the early 1990s, the diesel-fueled sentry bot can operate for up to 16 hours, and reach a top speed of 20 mph. The U.S. military has experimented with using the MDARS machines to patrol some of its Hawthorne Army Depot in Nevada. The bots have even been tested with automatic weapons -- though I doubt that's the plan at the nuke site.

Not the plan at the nuke site my ass. I happen to know FOR A FACT these things already have live missiles. "But GW, how could you possibly know that?" Two words: satellite imaging I broke into the facility to dunk my junk in a drum of radioactive waste with the hopes of "Hulking that shit". I'm not gonna lie, it didn't work five penises.

Video of the unmanned world destroyers on patrol after the jump.

Robots Now Guarding Nevada Nuke Site [wired]

Thanks to ben, Miss Bowser, TobyRaider, MaCM777, PNPete and Bill, who agree the only good guard for a nuclear facility is one with a tranquilizer dart in his neck. GRAB THOSE NUKES -- GO GO GO!

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