Jonathan The Zombie Would Be Piiiiiissed: Guy Attaches Wire Handles To Pet Turtles

October 14, 2010


Some jerk went and drilled holes through the shells of his pet turtles so that he could attach wire handles to them and pick them up easier. But turtles don't even like being coddled! Master Splinter, yes.

"They do have nerves in their shells, so it would have been painful for them when they were drilled," says Hopcraft.

Hopcraft says the tortoise appears to be underweight and is unable to walk without dragging its shell on the ground, while the turtle's claws and beak are overgrown.

Marcie Moriarty, an investigator with the B.C. SPCA, called it "accessorizing to the extreme."

"Clearly, this shows a person who has no respect for animals and no knowledge on how to care for them," Moriarty says.

The SPCA has launched a full investigation, which will also look into other animals the Delta man owns, before recommending animal cruelty charges to Crown counsel.

Throw the book at him! Or, better yet: a giant f***ing rock. Actually, don't even throw it, just push it off a cliff. "And smash him like Piggy?" DAMN YEAH AND SMASH HIM LIKE PIGGY! Lord of the Flies? Pfft -- LORD OF THE TURTLES! Now quick Leonardo, put your back into it -- here he comes.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the sadness.



Pet turtle and tortoise with handles installed may net charges for owner

Thanks to Ryan, who's never attached anything to a turtle but lasers and night-vision goggles (which they love).

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