I Bet They Hurt Coming Out: Jewel Smuggler Busted With 2,060 Diamonds In Stomach

October 29, 2010


Proving that diamonds aren't only a girl's best friend but also nutritious, a Sri Lankan jewel smuggler was busted with over 2,000 diamonds in his gut. That's a lot. I'm talking turds that could blind a person.

Police searched the man's two pieces of luggage to no avail, and grew suspicious as he struggled to sit still during questioning. The Sri Lankan blamed his discomfort on hemorrhoids. But the Indian super-sleuths couldn't be fooled.

The man later admitted to acting as a human courier on three previous occasions, and he claimed to have received $225 each time. In this instance, he had placed the jewels into 42 condoms and swallowed them two and a half hours before his flight.

After police fed him laxatives, it took him six hours to eject the stones, estimated to be worth between $337,000 and $674,000. If only passing a stone were always so lucrative. . .

$225 for carrying $500K worth of diamonds in your booty? Somebody went with the lowest bidder! Personally, I don't mule for anything less than a grand. Or do any of the cleanup work afterwards. Once I stand up and wipe my job is OVER. Stall's all yours, buddy.

Man Arrested With 2,060 Diamonds In Stomach [time]

Thanks to comfort eagle, who once swallowed 40lbs of fool's gold because he likes the way it tastes. Just kidding, he though it was real gold.

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